Laugh if you will, but "Forrest Gump" is still one of my favorite movies ever. One of the most memorable moments comes at the end of the movie as Forrest stands in front of Jenny's grave and ponders humanity's path through life. In that scene he reconciles the philosophies of his mother ("Life is like a box of chocolates: You never know what you're going to get") and Lt. Dan Taylor (predestination, or just destiny, if you will) by suggesting that "Maybe it's a little bit of both, happening at the same time."
In the erstwhile days of my youth when I didn't have to ponder topics more immediate and grounded, I often wondered about this sort of thing, too. I also found myself thinking, like Forrest, it might be both happening at the same time.
I've been pondering this anew as I reflect on my life's path over the last 10 years, and the key events that led me to Ithaca. That, in turn, has allowed me to be geographically closer to my mother during — as it's become painfully clear — the wane of her time with us.
Skillful navigation or blind marching?
Was I just riding the waves of interests, chance, and opportunities to get here, or was my path set long before? Consider, as I have:
- Was I meant to take that Intro to Journalism course my final year of undergraduate, and realize, "Hey, maybe I'd want to do this down the line, after I get the dirt out of my blood as an archaeologist?" I got rejected from the Intro to Creative Writing course and NEEDED the upper-level writing credits to graduate.
- Was I meant to spend nearly five years at the museum only to decide to go back to school for a master's degree in journalism when I did?
- Was it chance the opportunity at The Saratogian came up when it did, only three months after I started my first job as a newspaper reporter? My nearly-three years in Saratoga Springs were instrumental in attaining the experience and skills that made me a qualified candidate for the job I ultimately landed in Ithaca. As grueling as those years were at times, I'm beyond thankful for them.
- Did the opportunities I pursued for employment in Ithaca open up just as it became apparent the Universe wasn't going to let my mom be free of cancer? My wife and I had been talking in earnest about returning to the area, but that really motivated me to push the job hunt into gear.
Honestly, you could go nuts trying to connect all those pieces in some fashion.
As to the question of whether we bounce through life or have an invisible, set path before us: I'm nowhere closer to an answer than I was as a teen, nor any closer than Forrest.
I guess it doesn't really matter because I truly believe I landed the job I was meant to. Being here, and closer to my mom, and my family, and some of my oldest friends (an hour's drive one-way as opposed to over two hours) has been the greatest blessing of my life to date. As furious as I want to be with the Universe at times, that fact tempers my anger.
